An Interesting Loss of Drive

I've strangely lost my ability to work. Not work at Argos, not work at school, I'm fine when doing that, but any homework I don't seem to have the drive to do anymore. I've been noticing it alot but never bothered blogging about it. But kinda ran outta stuff to speak about. I started my Theatre Studies essay at 1.00 today, it's now 8.15. I've done bout 3/4's of a page. I'm finding it really difficult in general to write for TS especially, I was doing better than this last year with no revision and no practice. Which is bad, because I want to continue it at Uni. I can't quite figure out why I'm finding it so hard to work, but I am. I've been forcing myself to stay up late at the last minute to get work done because no matter how hard I try, I just can't get it done unless it takes forever, or I do it really badly. I forsee two explanations; either this work is really hard so it's difficult to do, or I've grown so lazy that when there are other distractions I just can't work. Hopefully its the second so I can snap out of it, but it's probably the first, because although in school I could write these essays, I'd imagine I'd find it just as hard.

Hell, I couldn't even come up with an interesting title for this blog! And it's only serving as a distraction for me because I just can't concentrate on my work. I've noticed my grades going down in all homework really, and am dreading how my english coursework turned out, because I'm not satisfied with it but just couldn't come up with the ideas to work on it. I've got a feeling I've let myself down on the one thing I could have done really well.

I'm actually okay otherwise, just beginning to get a bit worried I'm gonna flunk this year because I've lost my attitude to work completely. I do the work, and still never miss a deadline (well unless I forget which has happened once or twice, more than usual!), but I just can't do it half as well as I used to, and I'm sure it's not just because the work has gotten harder, because I can't even slip into my old Year 12 way of writing about a performance for a play in TS or my old way of writing about psychology.

What's worse is there's no reason why. At all. Even when I sit down and do it it turns out shit. Sadly I think this is gonna be one of those posts where people just think "Well that sucks, but there's nothing we can do" which is the problem. What the hell can be done? It kinda reminds me of me and Chemistry last year. At least I passed which is a good omen!

At least everything else is okay. It's not the end of the world! I mean, Baird's parents are possibly gonna split up and I'm worried about school grades! It kinda pales in comparision. It's the one thing I (in a strange way) always find comfort in, things can always get worse. I'm actually pretty lucky. Now, back to this dammed TS essay!