Luigi Syndrome

Sometimes I can't help but feel sorry for entire races of alien killing machines. Okay, not the most normal sentance to start a blog with, that I will admit. But you see, after my last long blog on the Daleks, and their general incompitance, I decided it's time to look at the aliens they completely overshadow, these fellas.

It's not hard to see why, really, that these aliens don't quite live up to the look-out-I-have-a-sink-plunger Daleks, but I figured it's only fair all made up alien species get mocked equally. Now, here, we have the good ol' Cybermen (nice thing to name your race that, really, isn't it? It's informative, yet catchy...we should have a name for our race like that). Who try, god bless 'em they try, but keep failing, to be the other significant alien race in the galaxy. But nobody gives a crap, and they just want to see Daleks. Poor blighters.

However, this race also suffers from staggering Dalek like issues. And if the Daleks managed to conquer the Earth with their combiantion of baby alligators and men in bin liners, not to mention with their fashion accesorries they give humans, what these guys do? Well, apprently, sleep. You see, it seems they're extinct. Kind of. They live in icy tombs until they get woken up and come to life in horrifying fashion, emerging from their frozen prisons and returning to reign terror!!!

Well, except this guy, who seems to have got his head stuck in the cellophane that apparently makes up these tombs:

But, apparently the Cybermen aren't interested in going into the using-cellophane-to-freeze things buisness, and, after some head caught issues, and immense difficulty in getting through the cellophane that does in fact resemble a student prank (you know, the one where you cover the door frame with cellophane so somebody stumbles bleary eyed out into it in the morning?) they escape and begin their deadly rampage!!!

Or they would, only they're locked in their tomb (you know, if you're gonna freeze yourself, don't call it a 'tomb', you're just asking for it that way) from the outside. Apparently the race advanced enough to make themselves mostly robot forgot to put a way of opening it from the INSIDE. Oops.

But never fear! For they have a new lethal creature to send up and out to... urm, in fact, I'm not sure what they were planning to do with it. Make the enemy laugh so much they fall on the "open tomb door" lever, I imagine.

It's the deadly Cybermats! I imagine that the Cybermen put "Cyber" on the front of everything, kind of like Batman (TO THE CYBERMOBILE!). Although why this is a mat I don't know. In fact, I just can't justify it in general. Unless it's the make-them-laugh-into-submission plan, at which point it makes a lot of sense.

But I mean, not only are the Cybermen overshadowed by the Daleks, they also go about trying to convert humans into half robot half men creatures, assimilate, of you will, while at one point even shouting "resistance is futile!". Of course, a different (and much shitter) sci-fi program has a race that do this as well. Except they did it later. But does anybody remember the poor Cybermen here as that particular pioneer? Heck no!

Although I guess when cybermats are part of your weapondry it's easy to see WHY nobody would remember them.

But to top it off, we need a moment where you just look. Just sit back and look. Like you look at a Dalek, and suddenly realise how absurd it is. To fully understand the problems behind this race, where better to look than their leader? You know, how you can look at George Bush and suddenly see all of America's problems? Well, same goes here. This is what leads them:

That says it all, really.