I Cry for Hollywood
The other day me and Boote walked into town, finding a huge traffic jam along the way. He pointed out how it looked like a giant snake....and somehow this got me thinking for the ultimate video game to film conversion: SNAKE THE MOVIE!
Now, the worrying part is I succesfully came up with a plot that you could imagine Hollywood using in a crappy 'summer blockbuster'. I think we should all cry for the film industry.
Consider this for a movie plot: For a millenia, there has been a giant entity roaming out in the depths of space, consuming stars and adding there energy to its own mass. The SNAKE, a lethal destructive lifeform on such a scale that it destroys entire solar systems to add to its own mass. Who created it? Nobody knows. But when Alpha Centuari, the star closest to Earth, suddenly disappears completely, we know it's coming for us.
Skip ahead thirty years, and the creature is upon us (after all, it must have been travelling at lightspeed right?). We've had thirty years to prepare, and we hit it with everything we've got in the mid-movie action scene. Sadly, every hit and every attack just gives it more energy, adding to its mass. It wipes out Earth's fleet of cool space fighters and missiles, and starts heading towards our sun. One surviving pilot comes up with a plan, to create a combustion style reaction to lure it away. They build this huge output of energy into his own fighter (it's Hollywood, it doesn't have to make sense how) and he begins to lure the snake away. And in a 'shocking' climax, when he discovers he can't lure it away far enough and it will just consume him to, he rams his fighter into its tail, causing the front of the snake to hit the back. And, in true snake style, it vaporises itself, as it tries to absorb energy from both ends.
Now, what's more worrying? That I had enough time to think of that plot on a walk into town, or that you could see it being a movie?
Now, the worrying part is I succesfully came up with a plot that you could imagine Hollywood using in a crappy 'summer blockbuster'. I think we should all cry for the film industry.
Consider this for a movie plot: For a millenia, there has been a giant entity roaming out in the depths of space, consuming stars and adding there energy to its own mass. The SNAKE, a lethal destructive lifeform on such a scale that it destroys entire solar systems to add to its own mass. Who created it? Nobody knows. But when Alpha Centuari, the star closest to Earth, suddenly disappears completely, we know it's coming for us.
Skip ahead thirty years, and the creature is upon us (after all, it must have been travelling at lightspeed right?). We've had thirty years to prepare, and we hit it with everything we've got in the mid-movie action scene. Sadly, every hit and every attack just gives it more energy, adding to its mass. It wipes out Earth's fleet of cool space fighters and missiles, and starts heading towards our sun. One surviving pilot comes up with a plan, to create a combustion style reaction to lure it away. They build this huge output of energy into his own fighter (it's Hollywood, it doesn't have to make sense how) and he begins to lure the snake away. And in a 'shocking' climax, when he discovers he can't lure it away far enough and it will just consume him to, he rams his fighter into its tail, causing the front of the snake to hit the back. And, in true snake style, it vaporises itself, as it tries to absorb energy from both ends.
Now, what's more worrying? That I had enough time to think of that plot on a walk into town, or that you could see it being a movie?
posted by Li at 1:44 PM
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