Mistakes

Okay, at the last minute I'm not going away anymore. At least not today. Maybe Monday, maybe tomorrow.

But I can't bring myself to delete that last blog...

Public Service Announcement

This is a public service blog, presented in net-o-vision!

Ahem.

"What've you got there Billy? It's a train ticket to Reading I see! Ohh, it looks like you've got a return ticket, Billy. Do you know what that means? It looks like you're going away for a couple of days! Why don't we have a look at those tickets, eh, Billy?

Step 1: Make sure you've got tickets.

Step 2: Make sure they're going to the right place. Ah ha, it says Reading!

Step 3: Find out when! Ohh, it looks like you're going from Saturday until Tuesday, Billy! I guess you won't be here all that time. And you won't have the internet in Reading either! That's too bad eh? I guess you won't be able to do anything with everybody, will you now?

So, just remember, for those four days, you're not going to be around, so none of your friends will be able to do things with you. Aww. But it's okay Billy, I'm sure nobody will miss you! I sure won't!"

This has been a public service broadcast. We apologise for the fact that it made very little sense.

PS: It has come to our attention that 'Billy' may in fact be 'Leigh'. We apologise for any inconvinience this confusion of names may have caused.

How I Would Do Things

So, in town the other day, we were discussing Orlando Bloom's total lack of acting skills, as you do. And when you discuss Orlando Bloom's lack of acting skills, you inevitably come to Legolas. And this got us saying, "Wait, it's not Orlando Bloom's fault, nobody could have played that part well". So I tried to picture just how would I, were I able to act perfectly, deliver those lines. And indeed, the part sucks, so no wonder he sucked in it.

So, in turn, I decided I could only criticise were I able to think of a better way to do things. Now, with my natural love of mocking the world, here is my top ten list of better things I would do, were I in charge of the world.

1) Burberry would be seen as the offical 'uniform of the enemy', and every soldier, police, citizen and dog would be encouraged to shoot on site anybody wearing it.

2) Robin Hood would replace St. George as Britian's hero. St. George wasn't British, and Robin Hood is so badass he can shoot an arrow out of the air with another arrow WHILE somehow being an animated bipedal fox. St. George just killed a non-existant monster. It's not hard to see who we should use.

3) Every place name in the world would begin with "Mc" to simplify travel guides. Once in use, instead of purchasing an "A-Z", you would just have to buy an "M", therefore saving valuable letters.

4) The word 'innit' would be likened to high treason, and anybody speaking it would be sentanced to jail. If the word 'beyz' is added on the end of 'innit', the punishment would be death.

5) Anybody who types and replaces letters with numbers would serve the consecutive sum of those numbers in years in jail. Therefore, if you type "1337", you will serve 1337 years in jail. I wish it could be longer, but it's the easiest system.

6) The international code of distress would be changed from "SOS" to "WE NEED THE MEGAZORD, NOW!".

7) No movie would ever be allowed to have the word 'versus' in it again (or anything similar). The only exception to this rule would be "The Three Musketeers versus Zorro", because, let's admit it, that would be a kickass sword fight.

8) Nintendo would offically become a deity.

9) Kenya's offical national anthem would be changed to the Kenya Song from Weeblstuff.

10) It would be illegal for people with large ginger afros to get drunk, ever. They would also be required to wear comical 80's sunglasses at all times.

And as such, I can now safely criticise the world. Thank you very much.

The Super Special Mega Ultimate Edition

Well, here's something fun. I was playing around with a new idea and put them in "Carl", the ultimate movie!

See if you can notice what I put in...

It's not a shot thing...

My Triumphant Return of Triumph!

I'll be home this Wednesday, just in time to steal food from Jon's bday party this weekend, luckily.

Ahem.

And it got me thinking. We all up for making a movie this Summer? If so, who wants to be involved?

I'm thinking if this is succesful, we make a second film, and anybody without a big part in this one will get a big part later.

It is, after all, a long summer.

The End of Days is Upon Us! Run for your Pathetic Lives!

Okay, so, here we are. Near the end of the first year at University. Yes, most of you have finished. I myself, am kinda hanging on in the ever growing quieter Uni because I've got a few house things to sort out, not to mention a ridiculous clear out day next week.

So, this is the end of Uni. And, for the first time, I'm glad I wasn't bestest buds with my flat mates like I am with you guys back home. I mean, if I was, it'd make leaving for the Summer a whole lot harder. There are quite a few people I'll miss already, but suprisingly, most of them aren't my flat mates.

In fact, the girl I'm best friends with in my flat, I'll be seeing for the last time ever on Friday. She's transferring Unis. That'll be surreal. I haven't said a proper goodbye to anybody since, well, Fez.

But right now, you kinda get the feeling you're the last guy off a sinking ship. The Uni is dying down, people are leaving, there's nothing left to do, and I'm still here.

I expect water to come leaking in my room any minute. Although that may be the faulty shower.

I don't even know WHEN I'll get out yet. Might be here for another two weeks. Because of ONE stupid day. It's a real pain in the ass. But I will be home. I can't wait.

We'll have a great Summer.

And if the weather stays this warm. Lots of BBQs!